Monday, August 22, 2011

2011 Turkey Bowl Heroes Draft Recap

I was going to slack on a draft recap this year, and let the "Turkey Bowl Heroes" flock graze on their usual TMZ rabble for another 15 minutes of 2011, but then the superstition crept in... I relented last year and wrote my 2010 draft cantos; the Fantasy Gods saw fit to bestow a championship on a team without Michael Vick or Arian Foster, which puts the Heroes in about the 99th percentile of 2010 fantasy football leagues for lucky bastards. Of course, there are those who may tell you that I earned victory by turning waiver pickups and sleeper picks into elite WRs, but what if it was really the draft recap? Can any of us really say? And do I really believe in Fantasy Football Gods?? I would answer that with two bastardized quotes from the 1982 film classic, 'Conan the Barbarian' - "I seldom pray to the Fantasy Gods, they don't listen," but when Michael Vick was coming for my head in the 2010 championship, I appealed - "Fantasy Gods, I have never prayed to you before. No one, not even you, will care if we were good managers or bad. All that matters is that one manager stood against the team that added Michael Vick. So grant me one request - don't let me lose to the #*@&ing team that added Michael Vick!".

But that was 2010, and 2011 is another story... Let's do a prologue with a round-by-round look at interesting picks, followed by a team analysis with draft grades. If you're wondering how seriously you should take your grade, just look at the historical record for JCP draft recaps as a predictor for fantasy playoff berths.

Round 1:

1. Arian Foster (Hou - RB) - The Other Manning
2. Adrian Peterson (Min - RB) - Colbert SuperPAC
3. Jamaal Charles (KC - RB) - Haley's Hand Comets
4. Ray Rice (Bal - RB) - Ditka's Mustache
5. Michael Turner (Atl - RB) - Atomic Jake
6. Chris Johnson (Ten - RB) - Buttafuoco Bears
7. Rashard Mendenhall (Pit - RB) - Fryer Truck
8. Aaron Rodgers (GB - QB) - Portugese Breakfast
9. Larry Fitzgerald (Ari - WR) - Jupiter Crown
10. Andre Johnson (Hou - WR) - The Strong Butlers
11. Tom Brady (NE - QB) - El Sol
12. Darren McFadden (Oak - RB) - Theisman's Tibia

This could be straight out of an "expert" draft for a standard scoring league, but for one exception. Tom Brady with the 11th pick? That was an eyebrow-raiser. Wait, I just noticed that "El Sol" is an anagram for "I lose" if I fuzz the text by squinting my eyes... Atomic Jake "dropped" a Michael Turner bomb on us with his #5 selection. I think Jake will definitely find Turner to be radioactive if he tries to get that sort of value in a trade, once he gets tired of him. Chris Johnson with the #6 overall pick might draw some criticism, but let's remember that this draft was over a week ago, before the most recent press about his hold-out. For the record, I expect him to sign before the season starts, making this pick a minor steal. The rest of these picks almost follow my draft board, verbatim.

Round 2:

1. LeSean McCoy (Phi - RB) - Theisman's Tibia
2. Calvin Johnson (Det - WR) - El Sol
3. Frank Gore (SF - RB) - The Strong Butlers
4. Roddy White (Atl - WR) - Jupiter Crown
5. Maurice Jones-Drew (Jac - RB) - Portugese Breakfast
6. Michael Vick (Phi - QB) - Fryer Truck
7. Peyton Manning (Ind - QB) - Buttafuoco Bears
8. Drew Brees (NO - QB) - Atomic Jake
9. Philip Rivers (SD - QB) - Ditka's Mustache
10. Hakeem Nicks (NYG - WR) - Haley's Hand Comets
11. Vincent Jackson (SD - WR) - Colbert SuperPAC
12. Ahmad Bradshaw (NYG - RB) - The Other Manning

"Headache Picks" - My mom used to rent a lot of "dramas" when I was a kid. They all seemed to have Sally Field in them... I called them "headache movies". Frank Gore and Maurice Jones-Drew are the "headache picks" in this round; these picks might draw praise from an expert because of their position, but I'd still walk away feeling depressed given the risk/downside.

"Head-shaker" - Michael Vick with the 14th overall selection? What gives, Heroes? You could make a valid argument that Vick should have been the #1 overall selection. Sure, he comes with some risk, but he's one of a handful of players that can win you any given week all by himself. 10 points for Hufflepuff, and the rest of you are expelled.

"I'll have what he's having" - The Vick Pick touched off a run on elite QBs, which isn't surprising. I'd wager that most standard-scoring drafts have a 2nd-round run on QBs this year.

Round 3:

1. Greg Jennings (GB - WR) - The Other Manning
2. Mike Wallace (Pit - WR) - Colbert SuperPAC
3. Shonn Greene (NYJ - RB) - Haley's Hand Comets
4. Miles Austin (Dal - WR) - Ditka's Mustache
5. Mike Williams (TB - WR) - Atomic Jake
6. Matt Forte (Chi - RB) - Buttafuoco Bears
7. Reggie Wayne (Ind - WR) - Fryer Truck
8. Steven Jackson (StL - RB) - Portugese Breakfast
9. Tony Romo (Dal - QB) - Jupiter Crown
10. DeSean Jackson (Phi - WR) - The Strong Butlers
11. Jason Witten (Dal - TE) - El Sol
12. Antonio Gates (SD - TE) - Theisman's Tibia

This is another really solid round, and I can tell that people did their homework this year. The 3rd round is dominated by WR picks, like most 2011 expert mocks you'll come across.

"Overdrafts" - There's almost nothing to pick on or ridicule, you guys are so boring this year! Witten stands out, though. He's a quality tight end, but there's no way he should be drafted in the 3rd round, let alone ahead of Antonio Gates. He's not even in the top 5 TE's on my draft board. Reggie Wayne may have also been taken a little high; I'm expecting a small drop-off for both him and Manning this year. There's valid arguments that Austin and Jennings will both see statistical regression due to the emergence or return of other targets (e.g. Dez Bryant, Jermichael Finley). You can't argue with the talent or skill of any of these guys, however, so we're splitting hairs.

"Prospecting" - Mike Williams is the unproven one in this lot of WR's, but he's also the one who will improve the most. I actually like that pick. Shonn Greene is another clear risk/reward pick, but I'm not as hot for it - he didn't show me much last year.

"Safe Money" - Jackson was great value, here. He's going to dominate the ball again in STL this year, and the Rams offense is only going to get better. They really didn't bring in anyone to threaten his workload.

"Pick that makes you go hmmm" - Matt Forte, although I can't fault him for it, given the draft position and Forte's quest for a new contract. I'd be worried about Marion Barber, though. If he has his legs back, he'll put a ceiling on Forte's potential this year. He's a red zone beast, and Forte is not (if you're quick, you'll realize that I just passed on a chance to lay a horrible word pun on y'all - you're welcome!).

Round 4:

1. Jermichael Finley (GB - TE) - Theisman's Tibia
2. Mark Ingram (NO - RB) - El Sol
3. Dwayne Bowe (KC - WR) - The Strong Butlers
4. Peyton Hillis (Cle - RB) - Jupiter Crown
5. Dez Bryant (Dal - WR) - Portugese Breakfast
6. Jahvid Best (Det - RB) - Fryer Truck
7. LeGarrette Blount (TB - RB) - Buttafuoco Bears
8. Brandon Lloyd (Den - WR) - Atomic Jake
9. Brandon Marshall (Mia - WR) - Ditka's Mustache
10. Matt Ryan (Atl - QB) - Haley's Hand Comets
11. Santonio Holmes (NYJ - WR) - Colbert SuperPAC
12. Matt Schaub (Hou - QB) - The Other Manning

This is yet another round of sage draft decisions, you guys are killing me this year!

"Hoarding" - Antonio Gates and Jermichael Finley, back to back! This is actually fine in our league, since you can play them both (TE, W/T). My brother better hope that last year's injury plague for elite TE's has burned itself out, though.

"One Hit Wonders?" - Blount and Hillis are both coming off of break-out seasons, but the sample size is small. These are both great picks, but I like the Blount pick better. Tampa is probably the most underrated team coming into 2011, and I see them putting up a lot of points. Hillis is a touchdown machine, but I don't expect a repeat of 2010. He doesn't have to come anywhere near his 2010 stats to be great value at this draft position, though.

"Paradigm Shift" - Brandon Lloyd was the top scoring WR in standard leagues last year, which doesn't sound right no matter how many times you check the statistical record. That was in Josh McDaniel's wide-open system, though. The John Fox regime is going to be a ground assault in the mold of his recent Carolina Panthers squads.

"Prospecting" - Ingram and Best are the high risk / high reward picks of this round. I like both picks, but the risk is significant. Ingram is a rookie, and he'll have a ton of competition for carries. Best, on the other hand, has little competition, but I have doubts that he'll be able to hold up if they try to make him the "bell cow".

"Teeth Grinder" - Brandon Marshall. Top 5 talent, but his QB was just atrocious last year. Too bad they couldn't get a deal for Kyle Orton done. Ditka is going to be ripping his hair out if he tunes in to any Dolphin games this year (not advised).

Round 5:

1. Jeremy Maclin (Phi - WR) - The Other Manning
2. Chad Ochocinco (NE - WR) - Colbert SuperPAC
3. Wes Welker (NE - WR) - Haley's Hand Comets
4. Vernon Davis (SF - TE) - Ditka's Mustache
5. Stevie Johnson (Buf - WR) - Atomic Jake
6. Marques Colston (NO - WR) - Buttafuoco Bears
7. Anquan Boldin (Bal - WR) - Fryer Truck
8. Dallas Clark (Ind - TE) - Portugese Breakfast
9. DeAngelo Williams (Car - RB) - Jupiter Crown
10. Ryan Grant (GB - RB) - The Strong Butlers
11. Ben Roethlisberger (Pit - QB) - El Sol
12. Eli Manning (NYG - QB) - Theisman's Tibia

"Mystery Meat" - Jeremy Maclin - Undisclosed illness, what does that mean? Wait, they've tested him for cancer? Ok, now a report that he has mono... The news on Maclin is downright weird. More concerning is their acquisition of Steve Smith (formerly of NYG). It's not like Maclin had slipped at this point, so I was surprised at the pick.

"Buyer's Regret" - Marques Colston. If he's not hurt, he's driving you mad with his lack of targets in the "Drew Brees Equal Opportunity Program" - but don't worry, he's usually hurt.

"He's Not Tom Brady" - Eli Manning in the fifth, the most boring pick of the entire draft.

"The Autopick Guy" - Can you tell who it is yet? Every year there is one manager who doesn't make the live draft, and invariably he ends up with some relative bargains in the form of boring players that nobody can bear to take once the clock is on them - see: DeAngelo Williams 2011.

Round 6:

1. Austin Collie (Ind - WR) - Theisman's Tibia
2. Daniel Thomas (Mia - RB) - El Sol
3. Felix Jones (Dal - RB) - The Strong Butlers
4. Mario Manningham (NYG - WR) - Jupiter Crown
5. Kenny Britt (Ten - WR) - Portugese Breakfast
6. Sidney Rice (Sea - WR) - Fryer Truck
7. Julio Jones (Atl - WR) - Buttafuoco Bears
8. Owen Daniels (Hou - TE) - Atomic Jake
9. Percy Harvin (Min - WR) - Ditka's Mustache
10. Jimmy Graham (NO - TE) - Haley's Hand Comets
11. Knowshon Moreno (Den - RB) - Colbert SuperPAC
12. Mike Sims-Walker (StL - WR) - The Other Manning

"Steal of the Draft" - It's premature, but I think it might be Felix Jones. The elements are all there for a huge breakout, and the hype has only gone exponential since our draft day. This is the same punk who drafted Arian Foster last year, too.

"But he's a Knucklehead!" - Kenny Britt. World class talent, but you know something bad is just around the corner...

"Risk/Reward Pick of the Draft" - Mike Sims-Walker. There's no single pick with a broader range of potential pay-off. He could be this year's Brandon Lloyd, or he could be dropped before week 1. The Rams have about 12 receivers this year who fit the same bill, though, and Sims-Walker can't seem to stay healthy (fits right in with the STL WR corps!).

"Headache pick" - Sidney Rice, pass the Tylenol.

"The Autopick Guy Scores Again!" - Mario Manningham, he's on fire.

"But he looked so good in preseason camp!" - Julio Jones, check out the historical data on rookie WR's.

"Stop Stealing My $^#&ing Picks!" - Jimmy Graham, that one hurt.

Round 7:

1. Kellen Winslow (TB - TE) - The Other Manning
2. Sam Bradford (StL - QB) - Colbert SuperPAC
3. Pierre Garcon (Ind - WR) - Haley's Hand Comets
4. Marshawn Lynch (Sea - RB) - Ditka's Mustache
5. Ryan Mathews (SD - RB) - Atomic Jake
6. Santana Moss (Was - WR) - Buttafuoco Bears
7. Joseph Addai (Ind - RB) - Fryer Truck
8. Steve Smith (Car - WR) - Portugese Breakfast
9. Tony Gonzalez (Atl - TE) - Jupiter Crown
10. Rob Gronkowski (NE - TE) - The Strong Butlers
11. BenJarvus Green-Ellis (NE - RB) - El Sol
12. Roy Williams (Chi - WR) - Theisman's Tibia

"Go Bold or Go Home" - That's right, Sam Bradford at #74. I'll accept the criticism that I might have gotten him later, but I had just gotten my picks taken right out of my queue two rounds in a row. Mine!!

"Pick that makes you go Hmmmm" - Ryan Matthews. He was nearly a consensus first-rounder last year, and Atomic Jake gets him at #77 in 2011. Yes, Tolbert is a drag, but you still have to like the potential upside of this pick. If Tolbert gets hurt and Matthews puts it all together, this is a "2010 McFadden" type of steal.

"Puddle of Drool" - Wha- huh, oh sorry, I fell asleep contemplating the Green-Ellis pick.

"Headache Pick" - Marshawn Lynch. Too bad there isn't any carry-over points for that TD run against the Saints last year.

"Migraine Pick" - Santana Moss, oh the humanity...

Round 8:

1. Mike Tolbert (SD - RB) - Theisman's Tibia
2. Pittsburgh (Pit - DEF) - El Sol
3. Matthew Stafford (Det - QB) - The Strong Butlers
4. Green Bay (GB - DEF) - Jupiter Crown
5. Cedric Benson (Cin - RB) - Portugese Breakfast
6. Jay Cutler (Chi - QB) - Fryer Truck
7. Brandon Pettigrew (Det - TE) - Buttafuoco Bears
8. A.J. Green (Cin - WR) - Atomic Jake
9. Malcom Floyd (SD - WR) - Ditka's Mustache
10. Kevin Kolb (Ari - QB) - Haley's Hand Comets
11. Zach Miller (Sea - TE) - Colbert SuperPAC
12. Josh Freeman (TB - QB) - The Other Manning

"Young Guns" - Stafford and Freeman. Both are potential Top-5 QB's this year. Stafford's shoulder is made of ceramic, though, so the Butlers might want to say a few words to the Fantasy Gods.

"WHY did I draft a Bengal??" - AJ Green's owner, week 3. Cedric Benson's owner, week 6.

"The Autopick Guy" - The Yahoo Fantasytron2011 just made you the proud owner of a team defense in the 8th round!

"There's that Anagram again" - El Sol chooses a team defense in the 8th, but of his own volition.

"Headache Pick" - Zach Miller [sucks in air...]

Round 9:

1. Brandon Jacobs (NYG - RB) - The Other Manning
2. Beanie Wells (Ari - RB) - Colbert SuperPAC
3. Marcedes Lewis (Jac - TE) - Haley's Hand Comets
4. Fred Jackson (Buf - RB) - Ditka's Mustache
5. Michael Crabtree (SF - WR) - Atomic Jake
6. Jordy Nelson (GB - WR) - Buttafuoco Bears
7. Braylon Edwards (SF - WR) - Fryer Truck
8. Johnny Knox (Chi - WR) - Portugese Breakfast
9. Mason Crosby (GB - K) - Jupiter Crown
10. Joe Flacco (Bal - QB) - The Strong Butlers
11. Mike Thomas (Jac - WR) - El Sol
12. Danny Amendola (StL - WR) - Theisman's Tibia

We're getting down into the later rounds; I'll be thinning my comments now. You'll all just have to deal with that.

"Yahoo Fantasytron2011" - Mason Crosby in the 9th. Don't blame me, I only sent about 25 emails trying to get you a draft time that would work.

"One Depressing RB is not enough" - Ditka builds the ultra-boring RB combo of Marshawn Lynch and Fred Jackson. Get out the popcorn!

"If you're going to San Francisco" - You better be a prima-donna, waste of physical gifts, apparently. I bet Braylon Edwards does wear flowers in his hair, too. Nice 9th round pick, though.

"Steal of the round" - Eat it, Turkeys.

Round 10:

1. Ryan Fitzpatrick (Buf - QB) - Theisman's Tibia
2. Hines Ward (Pit - WR) - El Sol
3. Philadelphia (Phi - DEF) - The Strong Butlers
4. Jonathan Stewart (Car - RB) - Jupiter Crown
5. Plaxico Burress (NYJ - WR) - Portugese Breakfast
6. New York (NYJ - DEF) - Fryer Truck
7. Mike Williams (Sea - WR) - Buttafuoco Bears
8. Reggie Bush (Mia - RB) - Atomic Jake
9. Lance Moore (NO - WR) - Ditka's Mustache
10. C.J. Spiller (Buf - RB) - Haley's Hand Comets
11. Tim Hightower (Was - RB) - Colbert SuperPAC
12. New England (NE - DEF) - The Other Manning

"He really was Atomic" - We've seen plenty of "Atomic Dogs" so far, but this round he gave us more of a 1980's Blondie classic - Reggie Bush could be huge this year.

"Headache Pick" - Mike Williams - the pattern emerges. Okay, maybe it emerged five paragraphs ago...

"Hindsight is 20/20" - The Plaxico pick sure looks hot after Sunday's preseason tilt. Nice high-reward pick for the Breakfast Burrito with very low risk, given the round.

"Prospecting" - CJ Spiller, yah never know.

Round 11:

1. Michael Bush (Oak - RB) - The Other Manning
2. Dustin Keller (NYJ - TE) - Colbert SuperPAC
3. James Jones (GB - WR) - Haley's Hand Comets
4. Baltimore (Bal - DEF) - Ditka's Mustache
5. Matt Cassel (KC - QB) - Atomic Jake
6. Ryan Williams (Ari - RB) - Buttafuoco Bears
7. Chris Cooley (Was - TE) - Fryer Truck
8. James Starks (GB - RB) - Portugese Breakfast
9. Rashad Jennings (Jac - RB) - Jupiter Crown
10. Robert Meachem (NO - WR) - The Strong Butlers
11. Nate Kaeding (SD - K) - El Sol
12. Montario Hardesty (Cle - RB) - Theisman's Tibia

"The Handcuff Round" - It's almost all handcuffs: Bush, Williams (tough break), Starks, Jennings, Hardesty. James Jones is even a hand-cuff, of sorts.

"Upside Pick" - Meachem. He has the talent to be a red-zone beast, and Colston is always a snap away from being done for the year. This is another guy that you could term a "handcuff"...

Round 12:

1. Davone Bess (Mia - WR) - Theisman's Tibia
2. Ryan Torain (Was - RB) - El Sol
3. Lance Kendricks (StL - TE) - The Strong Butlers
4. Kyle Orton (Den - QB) - Jupiter Crown
5. Donovan McNabb (Min - QB) - Portugese Breakfast
6. Jerome Simpson (Cin - WR) - Fryer Truck
7. Visanthe Shiancoe (Min - TE) - Buttafuoco Bears
8. Roy Helu (Was - RB) - Atomic Jake
9. Greg Olsen (Car - TE) - Ditka's Mustache
10. Andre Roberts (Ari - WR) - Haley's Hand Comets
11. Jacoby Ford (Oak - WR) - Colbert SuperPAC
12. Titus Young (Det - WR) - The Other Manning

"Sleeper Points" - Simpson, Kendricks, Ford.

Round 13:

1. Neil Rackers (Hou - K) - The Other Manning
2. Mark Sanchez (NYJ - QB) - Colbert SuperPAC
3. Pierre Thomas (NO - RB) - Haley's Hand Comets
4. LaDainian Tomlinson (NYJ - RB) - Ditka's Mustache
5. Heath Miller (Pit - TE) - Atomic Jake
6. Chicago (Chi - DEF) - Buttafuoco Bears
7. Deion Branch (NE - WR) - Fryer Truck
8. New Orleans (NO - DEF) - Portugese Breakfast
9. Jared Cook (Ten - TE) - Jupiter Crown
10. Stephen Gostkowski (NE - K) - The Strong Butlers
11. Danario Alexander (StL - WR) - El Sol
12. San Diego (SD - DEF) - Theisman's Tibia

Jared Cook - steal of the round. There, I've run out of things to say, time for the team grades.

Team Grades:

The Other Manning

1. (1) Arian Foster (Hou - RB)
2. (24) Ahmad Bradshaw (NYG - RB)
3. (25) Greg Jennings (GB - WR)
4. (48) Matt Schaub (Hou - QB)
5. (49) Jeremy Maclin (Phi - WR)
6. (72) Mike Sims-Walker (StL - WR)
7. (73) Kellen Winslow (TB - TE)
8. (96) Josh Freeman (TB - QB)
9. (97) Brandon Jacobs (NYG - RB)
10. (120) New England (NE - DEF)
11. (121) Michael Bush (Oak - RB)
12. (144) Titus Young (Det - WR)
13. (145) Neil Rackers (Hou - K)
14. (168) Aaron Hernandez (NE - TE)
15. (169) Darren Sproles (NO - RB)

The lucky guy who went first. Actually, I don't think the #1 slot is as good as usual, this year. Still, you can't be unhappy with Foster, who should pile up points in Kubiak's system, if he can stay healthy. I'm a little worried about his health, though. The rest of his draft is fine; I really liked the Freeman pick, and his starters should be potent. Maclin smells bad now, but he may end up being a fine 5th round pick. You already heard my thoughts on Sims-Walker. If he hits the lottery there, he'll be the front-runner.
Grade: B

Haley's Hand Comets

1. (3) Jamaal Charles (KC - RB)
2. (22) Hakeem Nicks (NYG - WR)
3. (27) Shonn Greene (NYJ - RB)
4. (46) Matt Ryan (Atl - QB)
5. (51) Wes Welker (NE - WR)
6. (70) Jimmy Graham (NO - TE)
7. (75) Pierre Garcon (Ind - WR)
8. (94) Kevin Kolb (Ari - QB)
9. (99) Marcedes Lewis (Jac - TE)
10. (118) C.J. Spiller (Buf - RB)
11. (123) James Jones (GB - WR)
12. (142) Andre Roberts (Ari - WR)
13. (147) Pierre Thomas (NO - RB)
14. (166) Detroit (Det - DEF)
15. (171) Garrett Hartley (NO - K)

This is one of the headier drafts, and there's very little to pick on. I'm not a Greene fan, but he could explode into the Top 5 for running backs if he can withstand the workload they are supposedly about to give him in New York. Nicks, Ryan, and Graham were all picks that he erased from my draft queue. There's upside in his late-round picks, too. This is probably the most balanced draft.
Grade: A

Ditka's Mustache

1. (4) Ray Rice (Bal - RB)
2. (21) Philip Rivers (SD - QB)
3. (28) Miles Austin (Dal - WR)
4. (45) Brandon Marshall (Mia - WR)
5. (52) Vernon Davis (SF - TE)
6. (69) Percy Harvin (Min - WR)
7. (76) Marshawn Lynch (Sea - RB)
8. (93) Malcom Floyd (SD - WR)
9. (100) Fred Jackson (Buf - RB)
10. (117) Lance Moore (NO - WR)
11. (124) Baltimore (Bal - DEF)
12. (141) Greg Olsen (Car - TE)
13. (148) LaDainian Tomlinson (NYJ - RB)
14. (165) Delone Carter (Ind - RB)
15. (172) Ricky Williams (Bal - RB)

I would rate his #1,#2 combo as the best overall in the league. Rice and Rivers, he's going to shred us all with those two. There's a drop-off after that, though. Austin could be eclipsed by Dez Bryant this year, if you believe the stories out of Dallas's preseason camp. Bryant is certainly more talented. Marshall is a headache (pick). His mid-round RB picks are low-upside, low trade-appeal. I'm not a fan of taking a defense before the last few rounds. He'll be tough because of his top two picks, but I think he should have taken more chances with this draft.
Grade: B

Atomic Jake

1. (5) Michael Turner (Atl - RB)
2. (20) Drew Brees (NO - QB)
3. (29) Mike Williams (TB - WR)
4. (44) Brandon Lloyd (Den - WR)
5. (53) Stevie Johnson (Buf - WR)
6. (68) Owen Daniels (Hou - TE)
7. (77) Ryan Mathews (SD - RB)
8. (92) A.J. Green (Cin - WR)
9. (101) Michael Crabtree (SF - WR)
10. (116) Reggie Bush (Mia - RB)
11. (125) Matt Cassel (KC - QB)
12. (140) Roy Helu (Was - RB)
13. (149) Heath Miller (Pit - TE)
14. (164) David Akers (SF - K)
15. (173) Cam Newton (Car - QB)

I love this draft. Atomic Jake gave me everything: picks to lampoon, picks to envy, picks that earn a solemn nod of approval. Ultimately, though, I think this draft could sink with the weight of the Michael Turner pick. I can't think of anyone I trust less out of the top fantasy backs, and he invested the #5 overall selection in him. Perhaps the Matthews pick will prove to be a lottery winner, in which case he's going to be a contender. At any rate, this was one of the more entertaining drafts to analyze.
Grade: C+

Buttafuoco Bears

1. (6) Chris Johnson (Ten - RB)
2. (19) Peyton Manning (Ind - QB)
3. (30) Matt Forte (Chi - RB)
4. (43) LeGarrette Blount (TB - RB)
5. (54) Marques Colston (NO - WR)
6. (67) Julio Jones (Atl - WR)
7. (78) Santana Moss (Was - WR)
8. (91) Brandon Pettigrew (Det - TE)
9. (102) Jordy Nelson (GB - WR)
10. (115) Mike Williams (Sea - WR)
11. (126) Ryan Williams (Ari - RB)
12. (139) Visanthe Shiancoe (Min - TE)
13. (150) Chicago (Chi - DEF)
14. (163) Colt McCoy (Cle - QB)
15. (174) David Buehler (Dal - K)

A fairly deep, but unbalanced team. His backfield is loaded, but his WR set is amongst the weakest in the league. Colston is probably his most important player, because he'll be in dire straits if Marques pulls his usual disappearing act. Julio Jones is a specimen, but it's hard to rely on a rookie wide-out. Look at studs like Fitzgerald, Roddy White, Jennings, etc. Good rookie years, but not consistent or explosive enough to really carry a fantasy team for the entire season. Jones isn't the top target on his team - maybe not even the 2nd target. The B-Bears should probably make a couple trades.
Grade: C+

Fryer Truck

1. (7) Rashard Mendenhall (Pit - RB)
2. (18) Michael Vick (Phi - QB)
3. (31) Reggie Wayne (Ind - WR)
4. (42) Jahvid Best (Det - RB)
5. (55) Anquan Boldin (Bal - WR)
6. (66) Sidney Rice (Sea - WR)
7. (79) Joseph Addai (Ind - RB)
8. (90) Jay Cutler (Chi - QB)
9. (103) Braylon Edwards (SF - WR)
10. (114) New York (NYJ - DEF)
11. (127) Chris Cooley (Was - TE)
12. (138) Jerome Simpson (Cin - WR)
13. (151) Deion Branch (NE - WR)
14. (162) Lee Evans (Bal - WR)
15. (175) Alex Henery (Phi - K)

This is one of the stronger teams. He neglected TE, but that's a fine trade-off in 2011, with one of the deepest TE classes that I can remember. Getting Vick at #14 really blew this draft up; Food Truck was playing with house money from there on out. His remaining picks were all solid, with the possible exception of a 6th round investment in Sidney Rice. Even that might pan out, though. There's a good mix of risk (Best) and safe-money (Wayne, Boldin) here. The late round picks had some duds (Cooley, Branch, a DEF in the 10th), but that just means he'll have no trouble finding guys to drop for hot waiver pickups.
Grade: A-

Portugese Breakfast

1. (8) Aaron Rodgers (GB - QB)
2. (17) Maurice Jones-Drew (Jac - RB)
3. (32) Steven Jackson (StL - RB)
4. (41) Dez Bryant (Dal - WR)
5. (56) Dallas Clark (Ind - TE)
6. (65) Kenny Britt (Ten - WR)
7. (80) Steve Smith (Car - WR)
8. (89) Cedric Benson (Cin - RB)
9. (104) Johnny Knox (Chi - WR)
10. (113) Plaxico Burress (NYJ - WR)
11. (128) James Starks (GB - RB)
12. (137) Donovan McNabb (Min - QB)
13. (152) New Orleans (NO - DEF)
14. (161) Sebastian Janikowski (Oak - K)
15. (176) Nate Burleson (Det - WR)

This is another solid team, and reasonably balanced. The MJD pick would scare me, as he's already hurt. The Jaguars are going to be mediocre again, and Rashad Jennings wants his job. He should have picked Jennings late as a handcuff. Jones-Drew could still have a huge year, though. His draft is heavy on stale veterans: Steve Smith (CAR), Benson, Clark, McNabb, Burress (okay, that pick is sexier since he's back from the dead). There's a few high-ceiling picks mixed in, highlighted by Bryant and Britt. I usually beat up Ben in my draft recaps, but this is good.
Grade: B+

Jupiter Crown

1. (9) Larry Fitzgerald (Ari - WR)
2. (16) Roddy White (Atl - WR)
3. (33) Tony Romo (Dal - QB)
4. (40) Peyton Hillis (Cle - RB)
5. (57) DeAngelo Williams (Car - RB)
6. (64) Mario Manningham (NYG - WR)
7. (81) Tony Gonzalez (Atl - TE)
8. (88) Green Bay (GB - DEF)
9. (105) Mason Crosby (GB - K)
10. (112) Jonathan Stewart (Car - RB)
11. (129) Rashad Jennings (Jac - RB)
12. (136) Kyle Orton (Den - QB)
13. (153) Jared Cook (Ten - TE)
14. (160) Emmanuel Sanders (Pit - WR)
15. (177) Steve Smith (Phi - WR)

The Yahoo "Fantasytron2011" and his wise prerankings combined to draft a very good "first string". He'll get downgraded for missing the live draft, which means getting team defense and kicker selections in the mid-rounds, but there's no disaster here. His first 6 picks are enough to plow anyone on a good week, and he scored some of my sleepers in the late rounds. What's missing here is depth, but he'll have ample opportunities to address this with waiver additions. He ended with the Carolina backfield, but I bet this was almost complete chance. Too bad it's not 2009.
Grade: B-

The Strong Butlers

1. (10) Andre Johnson (Hou - WR)
2. (15) Frank Gore (SF - RB)
3. (34) DeSean Jackson (Phi - WR)
4. (39) Dwayne Bowe (KC - WR)
5. (58) Ryan Grant (GB - RB)
6. (63) Felix Jones (Dal - RB)
7. (82) Rob Gronkowski (NE - TE)
8. (87) Matthew Stafford (Det - QB)
9. (106) Joe Flacco (Bal - QB)
10. (111) Philadelphia (Phi - DEF)
11. (130) Robert Meachem (NO - WR)
12. (135) Lance Kendricks (StL - TE)
13. (154) Stephen Gostkowski (NE - K)
14. (159) Brent Celek (Phi - TE)
15. (178) Denarius Moore (Oak - WR)

Did I already give away the award for best draft? This might be it, actually. This is quite good. I am tempted to mark it down for team name, as I still find "The Strong Butlers" both confusing and uninspired. As far as the picks go, there's not a single bad one. He played his position and took the best value at each slot, which meant waiting on QB until the late rounds, where he took Stafford. Unless you're in a position to take an elite QB without reaching, that's probably the way to go. Stafford was on my list of three QBs for optimizing such a strategy, and my only worry with him is his past injury issues. If he stays healthy, he'll put up elite QB stats out of an 8th round selection, and the SBs may win a fantasy title. He also picked Felix Jones, who is becoming everyone's darling for a super-star caliber 2011 breakout.
Grade: A

El Sol

1. (11) Tom Brady (NE - QB)
2. (14) Calvin Johnson (Det - WR)
3. (35) Jason Witten (Dal - TE)
4. (38) Mark Ingram (NO - RB)
5. (59) Ben Roethlisberger (Pit - QB)
6. (62) Daniel Thomas (Mia - RB)
7. (83) BenJarvus Green-Ellis (NE - RB)
8. (86) Pittsburgh (Pit - DEF)
9. (107) Mike Thomas (Jac - WR)
10. (110) Hines Ward (Pit - WR)
11. (131) Nate Kaeding (SD - K)
12. (134) Ryan Torain (Was - RB)
13. (155) Danario Alexander (StL - WR)
14. (158) Jacoby Jones (Hou - WR)
15. (179) Dallas (Dal - DEF)

I can't get past The Anagram. Wait, maybe it's the Tom Brady pick that I can't get past. I can try to get past it, but then I'll just run right into the Witten pick. A testament to the strength of our league, I will probably grade this draft at the bottom of the curve. Still, there's plenty of hope here... Brady and Witten are both top options at their position, I just don't like the overreach. The rookie RB picks are interesting, although I'm not foreseeing an Adrian Peterson-type revelation in the form of Ingram or Thomas. That said, they both have upside. If the Reggie Bush experiment fails, which has plenty in the way of precedent, Thomas could produce huge points in the Miami running game. Ingram has a decent shot for double-digit TDs. His receiver corps is anchored by one stud, but he's going to need to fill some gaps behind "Megatron".
Grade: C-

Theisman's Tibia

1. (12) Darren McFadden (Oak - RB)
2. (13) LeSean McCoy (Phi - RB)
3. (36) Antonio Gates (SD - TE)
4. (37) Jermichael Finley (GB - TE)
5. (60) Eli Manning (NYG - QB)
6. (61) Austin Collie (Ind - WR)
7. (84) Roy Williams (Chi - WR)
8. (85) Mike Tolbert (SD - RB)
9. (108) Danny Amendola (StL - WR)
10. (109) Ryan Fitzpatrick (Buf - QB)
11. (132) Montario Hardesty (Cle - RB)
12. (133) Davone Bess (Mia - WR)
13. (156) San Diego (SD - DEF)
14. (157) Matt Bryant (Atl - K)
15. (180) Jacquizz Rodgers (Atl - RB)

"The team that would dominate if it were 'Points Per Reception scoring'" - McFadden and McCoy was a great start. Even in standard scoring, that's going to be really potent. Following with Gates AND Finley was at least interesting, if not wise. I am more inclined towards wise; he can probably use leverage to score a nice starting WR if he shops one of those guys in a deal, and he can play them both in the meantime, thanks to our W/T slot. The draft gets more... "interesting" after that. As documented above, Eli in the 5th is the most boring pick in the entire draft. Collie and Williams are both crucial cogs and huge question marks. Collie is a concussion away from an early retirement, and Roy Williams has made more grown men cry than Scarlett Johansson. There's lots of throw-aways in the late rounds - Hardesty, Bess (remember, it's NOT PPR), Rodgers, but he'll find quality pickups.
Grade: B-

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