I tried to hand off the yearly draft recap, I really did. I got Steve Berman (Haley's Hand Comets) to do it last year - he's funnier than me anyway. I knew it wouldn't stick though, he only did it out of guilt after beating me in the 2008 championship game... Speaking of which, just exactly what did I do to offend the fantasy football gods? Perennial runner-up, does it get any worse than that? I'll answer for you: No. So, why am I being punished? Did I drop Jamaal Charles last year before he ripened? Did I pick up Arian Foster and drop him in the same day? Did I draft a fantasy defense in the 8th round? No, of course not. I'm simply cursed, and here I am dutifully spending my weekend time writing a draft recap so "my most-recent-benefactor in the fantasy championship" and "the guy who steals half of my picks in the draft every year" can have the joy of reading my praise of their drafts... what a tool I am.So let's get to it. Rather than just break into analyzing each team right away (which I plan to do by the way, so don't worry), I figured I'd do a round-by-round analysis and call out the interesting picks. And by interesting, I mean interesting to me. And if you aren't sure why you should be interested in the picks that I find interesting, then you better aks somebody.
Round 1:
| 1. | Chris Johnson | Atomic Jake |
| 2. | Adrian Peterson | Haley's Hand... |
| 3. | Maurice Jones-Drew | El Sol |
| 4. | Ray Rice | Revenge of G... |
| 5. | Steven Jackson | The Strong B... |
| 6. | Michael Turner | Portugese Br... |
| 7. | Andre Johnson | Ditka's Must... |
| 8. | Frank Gore | Buttafuoco B... |
| 9. | Ryan Mathews | Theisman's T... |
| 10. | Aaron Rodgers | Fantasy Enha... |
| 11. | Shonn Greene | Strong Bad |
| 12. | DeAngelo Williams | Jupiter Crown |
While there's nothing glaring here, there are a few things that make you go "hmmmm". Slot Steven Jackson at #5 overall as the first surprising pick of the draft. While this is a perfectly respectable pick, and one that could totally work out, I'm fairly certain that SJax would have fallen to about the #17 pick if the Butlers hadn't taken him at #5. The second surprise was Frank Gore sliding all the way until the 8th overall pick. He was the fourth player on my draft board, and I was completely shocked to see an avid 49er's fan take Michael "I burned my owners last year" Turner over him at #6. The last surprise is Jupiter Crown dropping the possessive in his team name this year. His team name, once simply boring, is now outright strange. "Jupiter Crown" sounds like a generic product name. Like a line of refrigerators, or some company that's been making wall safes for 150 years. I absolutely hate it, it grates on my eyes.
Round 2:
| 1. | Randy Moss | Jupiter Crown |
| 2. | Drew Brees | Strong Bad |
| 3. | Roddy White | Fantasy Enha... |
| 4. | Calvin Johnson | Theisman's T... |
| 5. | Ryan Grant | Buttafuoco B... |
| 6. | Peyton Manning | Ditka's Must... |
| 7. | Rashard Mendenhall | Portugese Br... |
| 8. | Brandon Marshall | The Strong B... |
| 9. | Reggie Wayne | Revenge of G... |
| 10. | Pierre Thomas | El Sol |
| 11. | Miles Austin | Haley's Hand... |
| 12. | DeSean Jackson | Atomic Jake |
Round 2 could be something straight out of an industry draft. There's very little to ridicule here outside of everyone's horrific team names.
"Playing it safe": Moss, Brees, Manning, Wayne.
"Steal of the Round": I dislike Rashard Mendenhall as much as the rest of you, but he has top 5 RB potential this year.
"Most Boring Pick of the Draft": Notice I said Draft, not Round. That would be Ryan Grant at #17 overall. That pick is about as inspired as a Bobby Jindal campaign speech.
Lot's of WR's being taken here. Why do I get the feeling that the last two guys, Austin and Jackson, might outscore the rest of them this year? The rich get richer...
Round 3:
| 1. | Greg Jennings | Atomic Jake |
| 2. | Cedric Benson | Haley's Hand... |
| 3. | Larry Fitzgerald | El Sol |
| 4. | Tom Brady | Revenge of G... |
| 5. | Tony Romo | The Strong B... |
| 6. | Matt Schaub | Portugese Br... |
| 7. | Marques Colston | Ditka's Must... |
| 8. | Anquan Boldin | Buttafuoco B... |
| 9. | Sidney Rice | Theisman's T... |
| 10. | Steve Smith | Fantasy Enha... |
| 11. | Jahvid Best | Strong Bad |
| 12. | Philip Rivers | Jupiter Crown |
Things are finally starting to get interesting in the third round, with some folks going for risk/reward picks.
"Playing it Safe": Jennings, Benson, Colston. That's three rounds in a row for Ditka - playing tight with his money in the early rounds. Look for this bastard at the final table.
"Steal of the Round": It's probably Benson, to tell you the truth. He could easily outperform half of the running backs taken in the first round.
"Prospecting": Jahvid Best.
"Living in the Past": You'd probably expect me to pick on the Sidney Rice selection, but this is hardly appropriate given the timing of our draft. Favre had reported at this point and the true condition of Rice's hip had been concealed from the media. Nope, the dog in this round is Steve Smith (CAR), former fantasy juggernaut. Matt Moore is one of the top 5 worst starting quarterbacks in the league, and the Panthers just force-feed their running backs these days, anyway.
Round 4:
| 1. | LeSean McCoy | Jupiter Crown |
| 2. | Jermichael Finley | Strong Bad |
| 3. | Jamaal Charles | Fantasy Enha... |
| 4. | Dallas Clark | Theisman's T... |
| 5. | Steve Smith | Buttafuoco B... |
| 6. | Antonio Gates | Ditka's Must... |
| 7. | Chad Ochocinco | Portugese Br... |
| 8. | Arian Foster | The Strong B... |
| 9. | Hakeem Nicks | Revenge of G... |
| 10. | Dwayne Bowe | El Sol |
| 11. | Jay Cutler | Haley's Hand... |
| 12. | Eli Manning | Atomic Jake |
Now in the fourth, our draft is becoming truly interesting, as managers start to break from the established fantasy rankings to a higher degree.
"Playing it Safe": Clark, Gates, Charles.
"Steal of the Round": Charles is the steal of the round if he can get the opportunities that he got in the second half of last year. Thomas Jones will steal carries, but Charles is simply too dangerous with his big-play ability.
"Prospecting": Finley, Cutler, McCoy, Foster.
"Hindsight is 20/20": Arian Foster in this round was a reach at the time of our draft, but has since become the average case, and could now be termed a steal. If you put a gun to my head, would I choose Arian Foster over Ryan Grant? Probably not, but I'd mull it hard if you were toting a water pistol.
"Head-Shaker": Eli Manning in the fourth round.
Round 5:
| 1. | Santana Moss | Atomic Jake |
| 2. | Jeremy Maclin | Haley's Hand... |
| 3. | Brett Favre | El Sol |
| 4. | Vernon Davis | Revenge of G... |
| 5. | Hines Ward | The Strong B... |
| 6. | Michael Crabtree | Portugese Br... |
| 7. | Wes Welker | Ditka's Must... |
| 8. | Beanie Wells | Buttafuoco B... |
| 9. | Mike Sims-Walker | Theisman's T... |
| 10. | Joseph Addai | Fantasy Enha... |
| 11. | Terrell Owens | Jupiter Crown |
| 12. | Donald Driver | Jupiter Crown |
Why is the guy who named his team after a faucet manufacturer going twice in this round? Remember, there was a precendent-setting pre-draft trade that went down this year between "the guy who named his team after a brand of boat covers" and "the guy who has piloted some of the greatest team names in league history to the silver medal stand": The 12th draft slot was traded for the 11th draft slot, and Jupiter also earned another 5th rounder in exchange for his early 6th round pick.
"Playing it Safe": Welker. That's right, one pick in this round that could be deemed "safe".
"Steal of the Round": Just based on pure potential, that would be Wells. Of course, he's gotten banged up since then and the Cardinals appear on the verge of complete melt-down. Given the timing of the pick though, it was a steal. Oh yeah, the Arizona schedule is still a complete cake-walk, too.
"Potentially the Worst Pick of the Entire Draft": Santana Moss with the 49th pick in the draft.
"Old Guys Rule": Brett Favre at #51, Hines Ward at #53, T.O. at #59, Donald Driver at #60. I can't decide which of these picks I hate the most. The only one that I'm touching without rubber gloves is Owens.
Overall, this is the most laughable round of our draft. Not surprising.
Round 6:
| 1. | Johnny Knox | Strong Bad |
| 2. | Malcom Floyd | Strong Bad |
| 3. | C.J. Spiller | Fantasy Enha... |
| 4. | Joe Flacco | Theisman's T... |
| 5. | Jason Witten | Buttafuoco B... |
| 6. | Jonathan Stewart | Ditka's Must... |
| 7. | Tony Gonzalez | Portugese Br... |
| 8. | Brent Celek | The Strong B... |
| 9. | Ronnie Brown | Revenge of G... |
| 10. | Percy Harvin | El Sol |
| 11. | Pierre Garcon | Haley's Hand... |
| 12. | Felix Jones | Atomic Jake |
Just when I'm about to give up, the Turkey Bowl Heroes deliver a round like this. Round 6 is our 9th symphony. I'm in tears.
"Steal of the Round": Virtually every pick is good, but I'm going to have to term Stewart as the steal of the round. I can't sit here and say that I'm shocked that he went in the 6th round, because he's a boring pick. Still, he's virtually guaranteed production and he's a DeAngelo Williams injury away from top 3 potential.
"Prospecting": Spiller, Knox, Jones.
Round 7:
| 1. | Michael Bush | Atomic Jake |
| 2. | Zach Miller | Haley's Hand... |
| 3. | Kellen Winslow | El Sol |
| 4. | Robert Meachem | Revenge of G... |
| 5. | Knowshon Moreno | The Strong B... |
| 6. | Visanthe Shiancoe | Portugese Br... |
| 7. | Matt Forte | Ditka's Must... |
| 8. | Kevin Kolb | Buttafuoco B... |
| 9. | Reggie Bush | Theisman's T... |
| 10. | Mike Wallace | Fantasy Enha... |
| 11. | Ahmad Bradshaw | Strong Bad |
| 12. | Owen Daniels | Jupiter Crown |
This round is actually fine, but after the masterpiece that was the 6th round, I find myself depressed while reviewing it.
"Reach of the Round": Zach Miller, although I think it's a good pick. Miller is going to be the top target in Oakland, where the offense figures to be much improved. He also has to be near the top of the list of players who generated positive hype during camp this Summer.
"Hard Luck Pick of the Draft": Okay, that would be Sidney Rice, but Michael Bush is second on the list. Good pick at the time of the draft, though.
"Picks that Make You Go Hmmmm": Kellen Winslow, Reggie Bush, Owen Daniels. I think they all could have been had about 1-2 rounds later.
"Steal of the Round": Besides the guy I drafted? I'll tell you after I've traded for him.
Round 8:| 1. | Thomas Jones | Jupiter Crown |
| 2. | Dez Bryant | Strong Bad |
| 3. | John Carlson | Fantasy Enha... |
| 4. | T.J. Houshmandzadeh | Theisman's T... |
| 5. | Jacoby Jones | Buttafuoco B... |
| 6. | Marion Barber | Ditka's Must... |
| 7. | Ricky Williams | Portugese Br... |
| 8. | Derrick Mason | The Strong B... |
| 9. | Laurence Maroney | Revenge of G... |
| 10. | San Francisco | El Sol |
| 11. | Matthew Stafford | Haley's Hand... |
| 12. | Lee Evans | Atomic Jake |
It's getting harder to lampoon picks at this point, with managers rightfully looking to fill team needs. Still, there's one or two bastards that are cleaning up at this point. They're probably the same bastards bugging me to do a draft recap.
"Steal of the Round": Marion Barber, what is he doing on the board in the 8th round? I know he's boring, but he's still the starting RB on a top offense.
"The Guy Who Drafted Lee Evans": We have a winner: Atomic Jake.
"Potential Returns": Jacoby Jones is a great 8th round pick. Big Upside.
"Don't Draft Your Cousin": T.J. Houshmandzadeh was well on his way to stinking up camp and preseason at this point. Oh yeah, he also did nothing last year as a Seahawk.
Round 9:
| 1. | Heath Miller | Atomic Jake |
| 2. | Carnell Williams | Haley's Hand... |
| 3. | Stephen Gostkowski | El Sol |
| 4. | New York | Revenge of G... |
| 5. | Chris Cooley | The Strong B... |
| 6. | Devin Aromashodu | Portugese Br... |
| 7. | Santonio Holmes | Ditka's Must... |
| 8. | Ben Roethlisberger | Buttafuoco B... |
| 9. | Nate Burleson | Theisman's T... |
| 10. | Donovan McNabb | Fantasy Enha... |
| 11. | Vincent Jackson | Strong Bad |
| 12. | Devin Thomas | Jupiter Crown |
It's getting harder to say anything interesting, I think this is the last round I'll review.
"Steal of the Round": It was supposed to be Vincent Jackson, but now it's looking more like Ben Roethlisberger.
"Biggest Reach": There's no such thing as a reach in the 9th round... I've achieved boredom.
I'm done with this round-by-round analysis, time for the team grades:
Atomic Jake:
| 1. | (1) | Chris Johnson |
| 2. | (24) | DeSean Jackson |
| 3. | (25) | Greg Jennings |
| 4. | (48) | Eli Manning |
| 5. | (49) | Santana Moss |
| 6. | (72) | Felix Jones |
| 7. | (73) | Michael Bush |
| 8. | (96) | Lee Evans |
| 9. | (97) | Heath Miller |
| 10. | (120) | Chad Henne |
| 11. | (121) | Minnesota |
| 12. | (144) | Tim Hightower |
| 13. | (145) | Mike Williams |
| 14. | (168) | Anthony Fasano |
| 15. | (169) | Josh Morgan |
For the team with the best draft slot, I'm underwhelmed. He should still be competitive with Johnson, Jackson, and Jennings, but he could have had a dominant draft. Props for the late pick on Hightower, who could have some big games against bad defenses this year - in fact, now that I've tarred his manager, I'm sure he'll light me up in week 1 and stick me with my first L.
Grade: C--
Haley's Hand Comets
| 1. | (2) | Adrian Peterson |
| 2. | (23) | Miles Austin |
| 3. | (26) | Cedric Benson |
| 4. | (47) | Jay Cutler |
| 5. | (50) | Jeremy Maclin |
| 6. | (71) | Pierre Garcon |
| 7. | (74) | Zach Miller |
| 8. | (95) | Matthew Stafford |
| 9. | (98) | Carnell Williams |
| 10. | (119) | Mohamed Massaquoi |
| 11. | (122) | Jerome Harrison |
| 12. | (143) | Montario Hardesty |
| 13. | (146) | Jermaine Gresham |
| 14. | (167) | Jerricho Cotchery |
| 15. | (170) | New England |
Solid stuff all-around for the guy with the disgusting team name. He'll play the matchups with Cutler and Stafford and beat people up with the Peterson, Benson combo. Great depth here, too.
Grade: A
El Sol
| 1. | (3) | Maurice Jones-Drew |
| 2. | (22) | Pierre Thomas |
| 3. | (27) | Larry Fitzgerald |
| 4. | (46) | Dwayne Bowe |
| 5. | (51) | Brett Favre |
| 6. | (70) | Percy Harvin |
| 7. | (75) | Kellen Winslow |
| 8. | (94) | San Francisco |
| 9. | (99) | Stephen Gostkowski |
| 10. | (118) | Justin Forsett |
| 11. | (123) | Clinton Portis |
| 12. | (142) | Eddie Royal |
| 13. | (147) | Antonio Bryant |
| 14. | (166) | Kyle Orton |
| 15. | (171) | Rob Bironas |
Good Lord, I spent so much time making fun of "Jupiter Crown" that I passed right over another genuinely pathetic team name. The manager of "El Sol" apparently decided to name his team after his favorite dive Mexican joint up the street. This actually could be much worse given that he was the one auto-drafter in our league. Fitzgerald and Harvin were both good value picks. MJD is banged up, but could still have a huge year.
Grade: C
Revenge of Gap Tooth
| 1. | (4) | Ray Rice |
| 2. | (21) | Reggie Wayne |
| 3. | (28) | Tom Brady |
| 4. | (45) | Hakeem Nicks |
| 5. | (52) | Vernon Davis |
| 6. | (69) | Ronnie Brown |
| 7. | (76) | Robert Meachem |
| 8. | (93) | Laurence Maroney |
| 9. | (100) | New York |
| 10. | (117) | Braylon Edwards |
| 11. | (124) | Greg Olsen |
| 12. | (141) | Roy Williams |
| 13. | (148) | Nate Kaeding |
| 14. | (165) | Victor Cruz |
| 15. | (172) | Mark Sanchez |
There's quite a bit to like here: Rice, Wayne, Brady, Nicks, Davis - all pretty safe value. Brown has a ton of upside for a #69 pick. He did every true Giants fan proud by selecting Victor Cruz, but he showed a level-head by waiting until the 14th round. Like every other good Giants fan, he'll curse out Coughlin when he drops Cruz in a week. The only thing keeping this from an A draft is the lack of upside in his picks from rounds 8-15.
Grade: B+
The Strong Butlers| 1. | (5) | Steven Jackson |
| 2. | (20) | Brandon Marshall |
| 3. | (29) | Tony Romo |
| 4. | (44) | Arian Foster |
| 5. | (53) | Hines Ward |
| 6. | (68) | Brent Celek |
| 7. | (77) | Knowshon Moreno |
| 8. | (92) | Derrick Mason |
| 9. | (101) | Chris Cooley |
| 10. | (116) | Bernard Berrian |
| 11. | (125) | Matt Ryan |
| 12. | (140) | Dallas |
| 13. | (149) | Donnie Avery |
| 14. | (164) | David Akers |
| 15. | (173) | Tony Scheffler |
Not bad. You already read my analysis of the Jackson pick. Still, when you throw together that set of his first four picks: {Jackson,Marshall,Romo,Foster} - I would contend that this is a pretty solid core for a 2010 fantasy football team. There's upside in the Moreno, Berrian, and Ryan picks too.
Grade: B-
Portugese Breakfast
| 1. | (6) | Michael Turner |
| 2. | (19) | Rashard Mendenhall |
| 3. | (30) | Matt Schaub |
| 4. | (43) | Chad Ochocinco |
| 5. | (54) | Michael Crabtree |
| 6. | (67) | Tony Gonzalez |
| 7. | (78) | Visanthe Shiancoe |
| 8. | (91) | Ricky Williams |
| 9. | (102) | Devin Aromashodu |
| 10. | (115) | Alex Smith |
| 11. | (126) | LaDainian Tomlinson |
| 12. | (139) | Joshua Cribbs |
| 13. | (150) | Houston |
| 14. | (163) | Ryan Longwell |
| 15. | (174) | Demaryius Thomas |
Wacky draft because he was on autodraft, with the Yahoo prerankings, for some number of the initial rounds that are unknown to me. Mark him down for passing on Gore, but mark him up for landing Mendenhall in the latter-half of the second round. The Ochocinco pick is a dog given where he bought him, and the second half of his draft is pedestrian at best.
Grade: C
Ditka's Mustache
| 1. | (7) | Andre Johnson |
| 2. | (18) | Peyton Manning |
| 3. | (31) | Marques Colston |
| 4. | (42) | Antonio Gates |
| 5. | (55) | Wes Welker |
| 6. | (66) | Jonathan Stewart |
| 7. | (79) | Matt Forte |
| 8. | (90) | Marion Barber |
| 9. | (103) | Santonio Holmes |
| 10. | (114) | Brandon Jacobs |
| 11. | (127) | Green Bay |
| 12. | (138) | Devin Hester |
| 13. | (151) | Dustin Keller |
| 14. | (162) | Garrett Hartley |
| 15. | (175) | Arizona |
How many mock drafts did you do this year? Wait, I don't want to know. I think the only thing I can really knock this draft for is passing on Frank Gore with the #7 pick. I have the feeling that Ditka was so rev'd into his draft strategy that he simply could not execute on taking Gore for fear of how it would mess up the rest of his plan. I can respect that. You have your classic "do the opposite" here, with Ditka loading up on safe picks at QB, WR, and TE and then taking the boring but valuable RB's that slipped.
Grade: A+
Buttafuco Bears
| 1. | (8) | Frank Gore |
| 2. | (17) | Ryan Grant |
| 3. | (32) | Anquan Boldin |
| 4. | (41) | Steve Smith |
| 5. | (56) | Beanie Wells |
| 6. | (65) | Jason Witten |
| 7. | (80) | Kevin Kolb |
| 8. | (89) | Jacoby Jones |
| 9. | (104) | Ben Roethlisberger |
| 10. | (113) | Julian Edelman |
| 11. | (128) | Steve Breaston |
| 12. | (137) | Kevin Boss |
| 13. | (152) | Chicago |
| 14. | (161) | Darren McFadden |
| 15. | (176) | Robbie Gould |
Despite the fact that he made "The Most Boring Pick of the Draft" in Ryan Grant at #17, this is quite the solid squad. Chris Wells, Jacoby Jones, Roethlisberger, and McFadden are all steals given their draft position. He also landed Frank Gore with the 8th pick, which was silly.
Grade: A-Theisman's Tibia
| 1. | (9) | Ryan Mathews |
| 2. | (16) | Calvin Johnson |
| 3. | (33) | Sidney Rice |
| 4. | (40) | Dallas Clark |
| 5. | (57) | Mike Sims-Walker |
| 6. | (64) | Joe Flacco |
| 7. | (81) | Reggie Bush |
| 8. | (88) | T.J. Houshmandzadeh |
| 9. | (105) | Nate Burleson |
| 10. | (112) | Carson Palmer |
| 11. | (129) | Baltimore |
| 12. | (136) | Dexter McCluster |
| 13. | (153) | Chester Taylor |
| 14. | (160) | Toby Gerhart |
| 15. | (177) | Sebastian Janikowski |
Like I said, there's no faulting him for the Sidney Rice pick given the timing of the draft. I probably might have made the same pick. And to be fair, Rice might still provide some value later in the season. This team could go either way based on how Matthews, Johnson, Rice, and Flacco pan out this year. Certainly, those players all have great upside (when the Rice pick is discounted for the information present during draft time). He scored a few interesting picks in the second half of his draft: McCluster and Palmer stand out. Overall, decent.
Grade: B
Fantasy Enhancer
| 1. | (10) | Aaron Rodgers |
| 2. | (15) | Roddy White |
| 3. | (34) | Steve Smith |
| 4. | (39) | Jamaal Charles |
| 5. | (58) | Joseph Addai |
| 6. | (63) | C.J. Spiller |
| 7. | (82) | Mike Wallace |
| 8. | (87) | John Carlson |
| 9. | (106) | Donovan McNabb |
| 10. | (111) | Kenny Britt |
| 11. | (130) | Philadelphia |
| 12. | (135) | Larry Johnson |
| 13. | (154) | Chris Chambers |
| 14. | (159) | Fred Jackson |
| 15. | (178) | Fred Taylor |
Another manager who "did the opposite" and waited to pick up his running backs. In this league, that's a good strategy. We tend to let the boring running backs slip, but it's all points in the end. There's a few picks I don't like here, such as the Steve Smith (CAR) pick, but even that one isn't that much of a dog. This is one of the better overall teams.
Grade: A-
Jupiter Crown
| 1. | (12) | DeAngelo Williams |
| 2. | (13) | Randy Moss |
| 3. | (36) | Philip Rivers |
| 4. | (37) | LeSean McCoy |
| 5. | (59) | Terrell Owens |
| 6. | (60) | Donald Driver |
| 7. | (84) | Owen Daniels |
| 8. | (85) | Thomas Jones |
| 9. | (108) | Devin Thomas |
| 10. | (109) | Austin Collie |
| 11. | (132) | New York |
| 12. | (133) | Willis McGahee |
| 13. | (156) | Mason Crosby |
| 14. | (157) | David Garrard |
| 15. | (180) | Oakland |
While this isn't the worst team, it's easily the most boring. In fact, Terrell Owens might be the most exciting pick in his entire draft. That's scary. But not as scary as his team name... Okay, so what else do I actually like about this draft? The McCoy pick has some upside, there's that. Williams and Moss, while boring, are relatively safe for value. Austin Collie is a late-rounder that might have some big weeks.
Grade: C
